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The Pregnancy Glow and Other Myths of Motherhood

It happened during the ninth month of my first pregnancy. I was going through a department store check-out lane where a teenage girl was ringing up my purchases. She looked shyly at my burgeoning belly with an expression that could only be described as reverent. With eyes full of dreams of future motherhood she asked, "Is pregnancy really as bad as everyone says?" Without the slightest guilt, I replied, "No. It's worse." The Deception When my husband and I announced the birth of our blessed expectation some months prior, along with endless congratulations, I received the good news of the many wonderful changes I could expect. "You'll positively glow." "Your hair and nails will look fabulous." "You'll feel absolutely beautiful." According to family and friends, as a gestating woman, I would feel nothing short of a precious vessel, glowing with health and radiance given only to those experiencing the miracle of growing a child

Self-Care As a Mom - Creating Your Own Success Markers For Motherhood

In the world of paid employment, success markers are typically built right into one's job. Performance reviews, company statistics, promotions, bonuses, and completed projects - these are all markers that let us know how we're doing and help us determine whether we are being successful in a particular position. When it comes to motherhood, however, these types of success markers don't exist. And, as a result, many of us are left wondering how indeed we are doing in our roles as moms. Often we feel like we won't know whether we have been successful at mothering until our children are grown and out in the world on their own. For me, however, this kind of waiting and wondering just wasn't going to work. I wasn't comfortable with having to wait such a long time, but beyond that I was fed up with frequently feeling that I didn't measure up to some "ideal." I finally came to a point where I was no longer willing to experience these continued feelings

Making the Motherhood Decision - "The Hours" Film Holds Powerful Lesson

"As it stands, motherhood is a sort of wilderness through which each woman hacks her way, part martyr, part pioneer; a turn of events from which some women derive feelings of heroism, while others experience a sense of exile from the world they knew." - Rachel Cusk If you saw the 2002 film, The Hours (with Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, Ed Harris, Claire Danes and Toni Colette), you may recall the scene where Laura, the 1950's pregnant housewife played by Julianne Moore, checks herself into a hotel room with the intent to commit suicide because she is desperately unhappy as a wife and mother. But when Laura lays down on the bed and dozes off, she dreams there is water rapidly rising from the floor of her hotel room and if she doesn't wake up, she'll drown. So she wakes up and realizes that she doesn't want to die. Rather, she wants to end the life she's living... the one she chose because it was expected of her. She leaves the hotel room and

Impact of Late Motherhood on Children

To objectively consider the over-all impact of late motherhood on children there will be need to look into scientific studies and statistics. The results obviously show that there positive rewards to be had; at the same time as negative ones bordering on emotions, health and financial matters. Having children at a late age has positive as well as negative consequences. Women who have completed their education and have risen reasonably in their chosen careers have a lot to offer to their children. Due to their position they can adjust their work schedule to accommodate the welfare of their children which will be impossible for a junior worker. Some of them are self-employed, while some of them can decide to work at home. These older but better established women have more time to spend with their children and more time to participate in their general well being. Where they cannot spare the time they have enough money to pay for help in the home. Young mother face more problems than well

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Is Later Motherhood The Answer to World Change?

PERHAPS IT IS. When mother's delay the start of motherhood they have ample opportunity to excel in careers, bringing them to a status level where their voices must be heard. This elevation of career status, financial means, world experience, and networks that later mothers often amass may be the answer to elevating the status of motherhood for all. After all, up until now, mothers' have very little voice in structuring society, they are at home raising children or working in less influential jobs, often as a result of their becoming mothers. They aren't sitting in the Board Room, the Governor's office, or at the policy makers desk. Therefore society's current structures do not support them - their voices remain unheard. What would the world be like if mothers' had a voice? Well for one thing - mothers' would have real workable choices when it came to balancing career and family needs. They'd have flexible work opportunities that still afforded high pay a

Enjoy, Cherish, and Remember Motherhood

Well, there's no such thing as failure in motherhood...in my books, anyway. And besides, by whose yardstick are we measuring failure and success by, anyway? Motherhood is to be cherished, to be enjoyed and to be relished and remembered for the rest of our lives. It amazes me how some people think that motherhood is something that is to be endured. No, not to me...and I am sure motherhood is not like to that many other mothers out there either. Sometimes, mothers are allowed to FEEL like failures We're only human beings, right? And mothers are human, therefore, we have our strong and weak points. Some of us are better at cooking than others. Some of us are better at earning money than others. Some of us are better at....say, diapering our kids than others. Therefore, being weak in one aspect of motherhood does not make a failure. I cook bad...and I mean, BAD. But I know I am patient in a lot of ways too. But I am not as patient as I would like to be - so, does THAT make me failu